Ah, Spring. Supposedly the time of year when a young man’s thoughts turn to love. As a slightly older man, however, my thoughts turn to the fact that the near incessant rain has come right through my roof and ruined my ceiling, while the intermittent bursts of sunlight have caused such rampant growth in the garden that climbing plants have taken out my fence. As a result, I’m spending my week doing DIY.
In real life, my toolbox consists of just the essentials: three hammers and a monkey wrench. Bizarrely, despite the fact that I’ve never yet encountered a DIY simulator, gaming offers me access to a far greater variety of tools, albeit still with an excess of hammers. So here it is, the Megabits pick of tools you wouldn’t fix a wardrobe with...
10. Thor’s Hammer
The otherwise mediocre Tomb Raider: Underworld gets a massive late game boost when you take possession of Mjolnir and use it to batter your way through hordes of Atlantean Yetis (really, don’t ask). Smooth swinging and uber-powerful, you could actually build a better game around Thor’s Hammer more easily than around Lara’s lycra clad contortions. Shame they didn’t realise that.
Dead Rising’s assortment of zombie killing implements is so extensive and adaptable that mere powertools barely get a look in. Fortunately, the drill, in combination with a bucket and a warped sense of humour, flies the flag for cadaver-busting DIY enthusiasts everywhere.
Ninth level adventurers with no qualms about serving malevolent gods will be able to obtain Volendrung by carrying out Skyrim’s “The Cursed Tribe” quest. It’s a fine weapon at level nine, although more highly levelled players will find they can craft a more powerful hammer. They won’t be able to make anything as cool looking as Volendrung’s spiky, scaley, red-eyed self though.
7. Hammer of Dawn
Ok, technically it’s an orbiting WMD rather than a DIY tool, but actually Gears of War’s Hammer of Dawn fits our criteria for being a hammer: It hits hard. It solves problems. You wouldn’t want it to hit your thumb. And it’s called hammer. So stop being picky.
Some developers would have contented themselves simply with adding melee weapons to series that was formerly just a shooter, but not Valve. Amidst the Katana’s, frying pans and guitars you could now bash the undead with, Left 4 Dead 2 also introduced the chainsaw. With a generously sized petrol tank, you could use it to prune a lot of trees, but we’ve got a feeling you’ll find a less practical use for it.