Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Top Ten: Videogaming Femme Fatales (part two)

Some of the strongest women in gaming. In a list. Missed the first part, then click here... otherwise, read on. And remember, there may be spoilers:

5) Ada Wong (Resident Evil)
Just who the hell does Ada Wong work for!? That’s a question that’s had many a Resident Evil fan scratching their mutated skulls, as the deadly, beautiful Chinese agent blasts her way through streams of zombies and bioweapons with ease. Does she work for Wesker? Umbrella? One of the many shadow corporations which infest the Resi world? Or is she out for herself? Either way, she’s not to be trifled with.

4) Fortune (MGS2)
“I am Fortune, lucky in war – and nothing else.” Fortune, leader of paramilitary group gone rogue ‘Dead Cell’, is depressed. Her father was killed, her husband was killed – and she herself seems incapable of dying and joining them in whatever lies beyond. Bullets simply won’t touch her, grenades refuse to explode – and she hasn’t met anyone worthy of killing her, until a certain floppy haired weed comes along (he shall remain nameless until he turns into an awesome cyborg ninja in MGS4). So, in the meantime, she blows the crap out of everything with a massive, incredibly powerful railgun, all while wearing skimpy clothing. Hmm.

3) Lara Croft (Tomb Raider)
Sure, her cup size may have become markedly more manageable in recent years, but there’s no denying that high-kicking, pistol-whipping adventurer Lara Croft is a woman not to be trifled with. As a millionaire, she has no need to be swanning off to foreign locales, hunting down ancient treasure and taking on T-Rexes with her dual pistols – but she does so anyway, just for the fun of it. ‘Legend’ is right.

2) Samus Aran (Metroid)
Bounty hunter, warrior, anti-hero... Samus Aran’s actions can’t always be considered ‘good’, but she always does what she considers to be right. Armed with a variety of projectile weapons, a powerful battle suit and a killer pink bikini (see the original Metroid for her big reveal – very shocking at the time), Samus is a force to be reckoned with. Though she is on the whole a good guy, she isn’t above brushes with the darker side of the psyche.

1) Princess Peach (Every sodding Mario game)

I’ll be honest. I hate this femme fatale. Somehow managing to get herself kidnapped constantly, Princess Peach is longtime Nintendo hero Mario’s squeeze – and she’s an utter pain in the arse. She’s either crying out for rescue, or running me over in Mario Kart – and all while pretending to be cute. She’s not cute – she’s evil, completely evil. Wake up Mario! “Our Princess is in another castle”? Good! Leave the bitch there and go have a beer!

Honourable mentions:
Elena Fisher (Uncharted)
Meryl (MGS)
Zoey (L4D)
Jade (Beyond Good and Evil)
Bastila Shan (KOTOR)