Monday, January 14, 2013

Things to do while holidaying on Rook Island

I've been spending a lot of time holidaying in the Rook Islands of late, enjoying Far Cry 3's hospitality, and excellent weapon shops… Here's my top ten activities for getting the most out of your time in paradise.

10) Boogie on down
With explosions lighting up the night's sky, no trip to the Rook Islands would be complete without an awful evening's dancing. Take to the dance floor and strut your stuff like an American tourist in way over his head - the locals will love you for it.

9) Passive-aggressive
There's a fellow in the aptly-named Badtown who is rude and violent towards his female friends. While visiting the charming, rural location, be sure to jump up and down on his head, since you can't use your weapons – or simply drive into him with the nearest vehicle.

8) Hardly sporting
When hunting sharks, why not try Rook's excellent selection of unsporting weapons, such as grenade launchers, RPGs, C4 explosives or mounted heavy machine guns.
Take that, Jaws!

7) Burn baby burn
Turn up the heat with your own personal flamethrower – why not set fire to as much of the island scenery as possible, and watch as the dynamic fire programming continues to set everything ablaze around you, such as trees, bushes, tigers and pirates – then watch the tigers and pirates fight, while on fire…

6) Da da da daaaa… Dadada…
Loudly and tunelessly sing the Indiana Jones theme as you take on Rook Islands' many temples, hidden challenges and mysteries, all while trying not to fall to your death from a great height, or get poisoned by a black mamba.

5) Crocodile, dumb me
Take a dip in one of Rook's many small streams – be sure to pet the crocodiles. In fact, if you happen to be being attacked by other indigenous fauna, such as the lesser-spotted heavy pirate with a machinegun, why not dive into one of these streams in a fit of panic and get eaten by a crocodile instead – a far better option.

4) Come with me, fellas!
Why drive alone? Commandeer a vehicle from one of the friendly Rakyat tribe and drive a truck full of AK-47 toting crazies into the heart of an enemy encampment. Watch with joy as the tribesman die to a man, fighting off screaming pirates, as you quietly complete your objectives.

3) Endangered? My bad
Spotted a pirate outpost with a caged animal inside? Set that creature free (be sure to hum 'Born Free' as you do), and watch as the creature mauls the unsuspecting redshirts, clearing the way for you to take the safehouse as your own. For even more fun, set the animal on fire first.

2) Strike from the sky
A trip to Rook Islands wouldn't be complete without taking advantage of the many hang-gliders oddly left at high points on the area's many hills and mountains. Take a flight and enjoy the view, and remember to top off the experience by stupidly flying over a pirate camp, before letting go and landing atop an enemy like something from the circus. You're sure to be met with happy smiles… and gunfire.

1) Go Rambo
Channel the spirit of legendary soldier Rambo by seeing the sights armed only with a recurve bow and a selection of fire and explosive arrows. Marvel at the sight of exploding or burning pirates, or take it slow and quietly eliminate your foes with pinpoint archery for a fun, thrilling experience.

Welcome to the Rook Islands.
Enjoy your stay!